originally from danmillerinpanama’s warsclerotic blog and from:
“The non-existent problem of Islamic terror struck again near the Louvre, the famous French museum, as a terrorist of unknown religion and national origin shouting “Allah Akbar” (a phrase in Arabic that means everyone should be nicer to other people and not behead them) and waving a machete was shot by French soldiers occupying the historic Islamic homeland of Paris..
It’s unknown why the soldiers shot him, but some experts are blaming Islamophobia. Others complain that the soldiers used excessive force, first attempting to fight him off to prevent him from beheading them, before taking the extreme disproportionate approach of shooting him. Sadly, gun control once again failed to accomplish its stated purpose of allowing murderers to kill without any interference.
The assailant, who has been hospitalized, has already complained that his nurses are female, alive and aren’t wearing hijabs. The European Court has promised to take up his case.
While it’s unknown why the man was carrying two machetes around, it’s possible that he wanted to present them as a gift to the soldiers in the traditional fashion by slashing at their heads with it, and they, misunderstanding his intentions due to their prejudices, shot him instead.
Either way it’s a tragedy and we should not jump to any conclusions, but we should welcome more refugees, as long as they’re Muslim, because we don’t want any religious tests, except for non-Muslims.
What we really should take away from this is that it has nothing to do with Islam, but possibly with Islamophobia, and we will shortly be interviewing a number of moderate Muslim Brotherhood spokesmen, most of whom aren’t carrying machetes, but who are very concerned about the Islamophobic backlash and the ability of French soldiers to shoot back.”
Awesomely satirical social commentary. Surprised there was no reference to Indiana Jones shooting the guy wielding the machete….
Reminds me of Ten Little Terrorists